My dad lost his job recently. No severence check whatsoever (maybe coz technically he's an alien abroad) so my leave of absence is extended indefinitely. Le sigh. I do hope our papers will still push through and that at least he can land at another job soon. For the moment, I want to get a friggin' job but my mom's too busy wanting to push me to showbiz (barf barf barf) soooo yeah. I feel so bipolar. The future is foggier than I can bear and I'm trying not to let my anxieties get to me. They just had to bring up the past like "oh if only Turtle took her studies seriously she could've graduated a lot sooner blah blah blah."
Really? I'm quite aware I didn't do well because I wanted to go to CSB in the first place.
It just feels like the rug is being pulled out underneath me constantly. I was finally getting seriously good at my majors in school- then I had to leave. And just when I thought I could continue- my dad gets fired. I want to help but I'm not sure how and this showbiz thing just pisses me off and I just want to come off as rude to anyone who has anything to do with mediocre local entertainment. Though I can't really say if I can pull it off.
My "blunt" personality seems to scare them off though. I wasn't being rude or even sarcastic. But to some people, they don't like the way I talk. Probably because I prefer to speak in English and I don't pepper every sentence with "po" or "opo" every damn time even though they're within my age group. Well, guess what I don't like it when people use "po" or "opo" at me regardless of age or seniority but I don't hold it against them because I often see the innocence in it.
Okaaay I'm rambling now.
Right now, I just want to focus on my workshop, my art, and my music.
What do.
Sanity don't leave me.
P.S.
Hanging out with my friends yesterday is probably the most fun I've had in weeks. I should be grateful, really.
Awkward Turtle
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Nomnomnom clams and pellets.