Life's Changing. HOLY CRAP.

I'm not on this as much as I want to be. I'm sorry.

If some of you haven't noticed, I'm leaving in three weeks and four days (25 days) and when I talk to my friends about it, some of them mention that I don't seem excited to leave like the others and honestly, I'm not. I'm not excited because I left all my excitement back in June - When I was ORIGINALLY suppose to leave - and so right now, I'm left being anxious and nervous.

I'm slightly jealous over some people that I was suppose to leave with have their first duty stations while I'm still here, just barely leaving for BMT... I'm not discouraged at all though, I'm happy for them and I know everyone has different paths in life... I suppose mine was postponed and there is possibly a reason why I'm still here.

USAF NEWS!

So today, I went to my USAF appointment and I finally spoke to a recruiter, Ssgt. Ashley Fears, and she looked up my files hoping that my stuff would be easy stuff and luckily for her, it was. It didn't take too long for her to open up my files and see what I have done in the last year... She saw that I have done my physicals (MEPS) and she has seen my ASVAB (aptitude test), I even asked her if I had to do the physicals again because a previous recruiter told me that it was only good for a year, but she said that I wouldn't have to because it's good for two years. THANK GOD. She made a few calls on how to make the process with an applicant coming from Guam and found out that she will have to do a MEPS-to-MEPS pull; meaning that she would need my current Guam recruiter to send over my stuff and once that goes smoothly, Ssgt. Ashley Fears can schedule me to go to LA and do a re-check up on my MEPS at a official MEPS facility. And after that, I can be sworn in and hopefully get a job... Since I'm thinking of going in as 'general open', hopefully I can get a spot and Ssgt. Fears said that when I go enlist as 'open', then I can get a ship-date within a month or so and I can be in basic training before summer.

FREAKING. AWESOME. AND ABOUT. TIME.

So, I'm pretty stoked! I mean, I left the recruiting office in a good mood, I even treated our neighbor German to Subway (with coupons, since we have a bunch at home) and we plan on celebrating with booze at the end of the month because he can't drink just yet. LOL. I don't know why BUT I DON'T CARE. I'M ON MY EFFIN' WAY!

Final-effing-ly,
Otter

Blue Fox is Nervous? Wow.

Blue Fox: Are you nervous coming?
Otter: Very. I'm worried, nervous, scared, excited, happy and a little jittery.
Blue Fox: To be honest, three days ago, when you told me that you were coming... I was scared and nervous because you're coming so quickly but after five minutes, I got over it and I was excited.
Otter: Awwww...
Blue Fox: Half of me is guilty for pushing you to come so early but the other half of me is like "Yessss! She's finally coming~!"

I'll be picked up by him and his roommate. I'm scared, worried, nervous and happy at the same time.

I'm so jittery right now... I feel like I'm going to throw up butterflies.

ASDLKFJSDKLFJLDFLAS,
Otter

On A Serious Note

Now that Blue Fox has started school, he's going to be really busy and it makes me a little sad that we won't be able to talk as much anymore and we won't be able to speak on the phone with one another late at night like we're use to. Sigh. But I love how he calls me when he's on his way to his first class and I'm just waking up! And his voice mails? Ohmygod, SAVED ALL OF THEM. They are just too cute~

On a serious note though.

We all probably know that I've never felt this way before. I've even told Blue Fox that I'm a little confused and a little scared because I'm liking someone too much, too quickly and missing him so much, so often and he told me that he feels the same and we both don't really care.

Now that I'm trying to find a job here in Seattle, each day is getting harder because I have to manage my cousin who's becoming a pain in the ass and I'm suppose to be getting paid by my aunt for "babysitting" her which is at least a $100 a week and I haven't gotten a cent out of it. I'm losing time and money and I'm practically on my last hundred since I got here and applying for a job is really hard, that's why I want to work now.

Also, the US Air Force. I'm starting to feel like I should let it go? And apply again some other time in the future? Or not join anymore and just go back to school?

Blue Fox is thinking of moving out of his dorm and into a new apartment by the spring-semester and when that comes along, that's the time I move in with him and his cousins. I know you might be thinking that I'm dropping all of this because of Blue Fox but I've always wanted to live in Maryland, ever since high school and if and when I have the money, I'll go and my mother even thinks it's alright as long as I'm financially stable and can get a job within a month of arriving there... But, I'm HELLA missing school. I've been waiting for this Air Force-thing to work out for the last two years and it seems like everytime I keep trying, something gets in the way of completing and I'm thinking, "Do I want this anymore?"

I don't want to move there and leave for the Air Force, knowing that Blue Fox is going to finish his ROTC Army and not do his duty and just go to grad school and finish his duty later on... I don't know. I... Just want to go to school again and forget this Air Force thing. Also, I'm scared that Blue Fox wouldn't and couldn't wait for me... I don't know. BAH, I'm scared and confused.

Ahhhhh, I don't know.

Stuck,
Otter