Life's Changing. HOLY CRAP.

I'm not on this as much as I want to be. I'm sorry.

If some of you haven't noticed, I'm leaving in three weeks and four days (25 days) and when I talk to my friends about it, some of them mention that I don't seem excited to leave like the others and honestly, I'm not. I'm not excited because I left all my excitement back in June - When I was ORIGINALLY suppose to leave - and so right now, I'm left being anxious and nervous.

I'm slightly jealous over some people that I was suppose to leave with have their first duty stations while I'm still here, just barely leaving for BMT... I'm not discouraged at all though, I'm happy for them and I know everyone has different paths in life... I suppose mine was postponed and there is possibly a reason why I'm still here.

Blank. Totally blank.

Bullshit, I swear.

DSLKFJASLKDJ;LSDKJFLWTFFFFF.

On the 17th, Blue Fox texted me "Ok". And I was like, "Ok what?" and he took four hours to reply and said, "Okay I made a decision" and I said, "What decision? Lol."

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

Lately, I've been seeing on the news a lot of storms in the east coast. There's been a lot of weird, random storms that would root out the trees and have it fall on houses, electricity has gone out throughout town and on top of that, it's 100+ degrees... And Maryland was one of the places that was highly effected by it and since I have a lot of friends there, I was worried. So I texted/messaged Kitty and Blue Fox. - No answer.

Yesterday, I texted Blue Fox and said, "I've been seeing a lot of tragedy happening in Maryland. Electricity and storms and all. I was just wondering if you and your family are okay..."

He didn't text me for the whole day so I was worried because none of my friends in Maryland replied...

Then this morning at 8:22am, Blue Fox replied and said, "They are okay my dear. Thank you for asking."

"Brother Zoned"

So at church, I'm apart of a trio: Joe, Glenn and I.

We're mostly together most of the time and when we are, it's awesome. We watch movies together, we eat together and we're always together so it's almost like we're inseparable.

But lately, I've been sensing Glenn is thinking different and I should have trusted my gut because just a couple nights ago, when he was dropping me home, he was going to ask me something... I knew in my gut what it was going to be.

Sigh, Blue Fox.

Me: You forgot my birthday. :(
Blue Fox: Happy belated birthday
Me: Did you forget? Haha.
Blue Fox: I spent time with my family, I apologize.
Me: Yeah, my birthday was on a Sunday but you could have texted. But it's mmk, I'll forgive you.
Blue Fox: How are you? I wish I could have seen you in LA. But I couldn't. And you couldn't.

You knew that I'd take the bus, train, more buses, spent the night with you, take the bus to the train and go back home in a heartbeat. You know I would. You know I would do anything for you.

WTF Blue Fox Part. II

 I'm going to go on a rant right now, you don't have to read it but... I just had to...

WTF Blue Fox, Just Stop It!

You tell me the only time to see you is today and I have to be at Fullerton, CA  by 7PM? For what? A FUCKING EVENT? I don't want to go to one of your company's seminars! I want to see YOU! How hard is that? Yes, I don't have a car. No, I'm not going to spend $200 on taxi. I'll take a train but you have to meet me half way!

Blue Fox: Today is the only day for the event.
Otter: What are you doing for the other days you're going to be here?
Blue Fox: I'll tell you when you come here tonight.
Otter: Poo. Just tell me.
Blue Fox: You have to earn it. Depending, you might see me all week but that all depends how much effort you put into coming today.

It bugs the shit out of me every time you do this! Why do I have to do all the proving? Why?! Am I or have I made it so fucking hard to make you see that I love you?! I moved out of Seattle for you. Yeah, I wanted to live in Maryland and you were a big push but look at what happened! I was even willing to move back for you during the spring! But look what happened.

Why do I have to the proving?! Isn't it already obvious that I want to be with you? Isn't it already obvious that I love you?! Isn't it already obvious that I'm willing to do everything I can for you?! WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO FUCKING DO TO MAKE YOU REALIZE THIS?!

Why can't you just tell me that you love me? Why can't you just be sweet like before? Why can't you just tell me that you miss me?! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME THE SHIT I ALREADY KNOW?! Why make me go through all of this?!

... ,
Otter

Best Two Words Ever Said.

(May 5th 2012)

Otter: Hey, how are you? Evreything's good, right?
Blue Fox: Mhmm
Otter: Are you still coming to Los Angeles?
Blue Fox: Yup
Otter: When?
Blue Fox: 16th to the 21st.
Otter: Well, if you're still coming... Would you still want to come out and see me if you could or have the time to?
Blue Fox: Of course.

;skdjf;ksdjf;ldjklfweiruekljfsd...

Blue Fox: I just got your message just now.
Me: Oh? Now? What message?
Blue Fox: About what I did.
Me: Oh. Yeah. You didn't tell me what you did. Lol.
Blue Fox: I met up with old friends.
Me: Are they from high school?
Blue Fox: Yup
Me: Are they the ones you played poker with?
Blue Fox: Nope
Me: Still sounds like fun~
Blue Fox: How
Me: Just seeing friends you haven't seen in a long time is fun. Especially when you haven't seen them in years.
Blue Fox: It's only been two months.
Me: Still.

After he stopped talking to me, he called me on his work phone. And it was the phone number that wasn't registered on my phone but had the same area code as Blue Fox. And I called once, but it just rang. But he called me and spoke to me... He said that he has a "proposition" for me. He said that I have to at least check this out. He was like, "Just check it out, I think you'll like it. No. I know you'll love it." and then he told me about how he spoke to a girl who was going to join the Air Force and them ditched that to join this company he's with and went all out with it. And he told me that I need to get a ride and check it out.

What shocked me was when he said this: "I'm coming to Los Angeles in May. So I'll come out to see you."

Coincidence, Sign or Magic?

Since I'm talking to Blue Fox a little more, I'm thinking about him more. Sometimes, I won't even text him because I want to see if he'll text me first. Every time I text him, it's because I miss him (well, I miss him every second) but I just want to see if he'll be the first to text me. It may be a little weird that I think about him all the time, no matter how busy I am... I think about him when I eat, when I shower, when I laze around, when I go to church... Probably when I just do anything.

Yesterday, I had a dream about him and it was a dream that was showing my reasons why I should stay with him and the feelings that I have for him. And I don't know what that means. So I woke up from that and now I have to walk the dogs... So I take them out, think about my dream and when I'm on the last dog, I start thinking about the time Blue Fox and I spoke about the car that I was wanting. I wanted a small, two-door car that had to be teal. And I remember he told me that I had bad taste for cars (whatever!) but he liked the idea that I got a small car and he said, "Good. Because you're not driving anyone else but me and you." and I said, "Well, yeah. But I want the whole back side to be dedicated to Soonja" (Blue Fox's pitbull) I think if you refer to my "It's you, me and Soonja" post. You'll understand a little bit.

But as I was thinking about this and missing Blue Fox a whole bunch, I turn my head to the left and what do I see? A small, two-door teal-colored car! PARKED RIGHT NEXT TO MY APARTMENT COMPLEX.

Honestly, these kinds of colored cars are RARE (and I think it's rare around the world) and the fact that it's the same way I thought about the car in my head... Is out there. Parked. Right next to my apartment. And the fact that it's an Audi (one of my favorite car brands) just made it a whole lot better.

Coincidence? It's too much for a coincidence.
Magic? I guess but I don't see a magician.
A Sign? ... You tell me.

Missing Blue Fox more now,
Otter

YSA, FHE and Friends.

Today was Break the Fast and it's amazing that a lot of people came and brought food! Also, today I met with Cassandra! She's from Switzerland! Both of her parents are Swiss but her mother was born here in Riverside. And her whole family is apart of the LDS church and she came with the Sister Davis. She got to experience the YSA (Young Single Adult) Ward! (Which they don't have in Switzerland) and I have to tell you - I'm not a lesbian - BUT SHE IS FREAKING BEAUTIFUL! And she is 6'0" tall! (when you subtract her two-inch heels) and she is just a lovely person~ She stuck by me the whole day and I introduced her to so many other people within our ward and I felt really good. She really loved it, she met with a lot of people. After church, we (Sister Davis and I) went to drop her home and I got to meet her parents! Her mother is BEAUTIFUL! Ohmygoodness! Her mother has flawless sign, beautiful eyes and her father was really handsome. She speaks German/Dutch to her mother but then again, they all speak four languages. Haha. Her father is a 70's in the Mormon community and that's a big deal! Haha.

Tomorrow, we have FHE (Family Home Evening) and we're all going to go to San Bernadino and we will be joining in the BBQ with the North Park YSA Ward. :)

I love meeting new friends and I love getting to know the ones that I already am friends with.

Good day,
Otter

PS: Blue Fox texted me at 2pm today saying that he did pass out last night but for some reason, my phone died. It was weird. Sigh. I miss him.
PSS: I also got a wedding invitation to Immanuel and Heather's wedding! I CAN'T WAIT! :D

Blue Fox, What's In Your Head?

(While I was helping out with the Relief Society preparations)
Otter: How are you? Any plans for today? :)
Blue Fox: Yes. Hanging out at Buffalo Wild Wings. And yes how did the interviews go?
Otter: I want buffalo wings!!! :( It wasn't an interview. I didn't do it. I decided that it wasn't logical to learn how to drive a forklift and be licensed for it when the job isn't guaranteed. Plus, I'm not going to be here for very long so it's okay.
Blue Fox: What do you mean long?
Otter: I'm leaving for military training on June 19th.
Blue Fox: How is your mom doing?
Otter: She's doing fine. Still kind of struggling but she's doing fine.
(Stopped replying; hours later...)
Otter: Well, I'm going to go sleep now. You're probably really tired and passed out. It's almost 1am your time. Text/call me tomorrow. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight. :)

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!

Sigh,
Otter

Otter Cut Her Hair!

I'm still LOL-ing about the "Conyo" video. LOL! Anywho! Yesterday, I decided to cut my hair because I noticed that half my head was dark brown (natural hair color) and the bottom half was oak brown. So it looked really awkward.

And then I did the unthinkable...

I cut off seven~eight inches off my hair! Now the only thing that shows is my natural hair.

Taadaa~ A new Otter.

The Chinese lady went a little overboard in cutting and thinning out the ends of my hair so it's shorter than I intended because I didn't want to go ALL out and cut it super short but she did it a little bit and I guess I'm okay with it because it'll grow out and the next time I'll have time to even cut my hair is in nine months from now.

Flashback! Blue Fox: Don't get a hair cut. I like your hair long. I won't talk to you until your hair grows out!

LOL,
Otter

Blue Fox, I'm Confused.

Blue Fox: What you doing?
Me: I'm about to head to a job offer. What are you doing?
(Five hours later...)
Blue Fox: You available?
Me: Sorry, I'm out eating. Why? What do you need? :)
Blue Fox: Your call
Me: I don't get it. Lol.
Blue Fox: Call me when you aren't busy
Me: Alright. I'll call you later. But I might be a little late. What time will you sleep?
(Hours later and my phone dies)
(Gets home at 11:30pm after a conference meeting and charges phone and receives texts now)
Blue Fox: Right now
Blue Fox: Tomorrow then
(Text Blue Fox at 11:50pm)
Me: I'm sorry! My phone died and I just got home 30 minutes ago. And it's 2am your time Sigh~ I'm sorry. I'll try and call you tomorrow. Goodnight. :)

... Oops.

Confused,
Otter

FHE-aftermath and A JOB?!

FHE (Family Home Evening): The best FHE I've ever been to so far! When I arrived at church, I saw the guys grilling the meat for our dinner that they will be serving us! So all the girls gathered together and we had a little lesson from Courtney about how we can do little things that will make us become more prophesied. And then after, we all went into our church's gymnasium and we had three tables set up for us, covered with paper and we all sat down as we waited. And I was standing awkwardly because I wasn't sure where I wanted to sit so I sat with all the "weird" people from our church (and they are my kind of 'weird', too) and we all realized we had pens and I had a marker! So we all ended up doodling on our table while we waited. When we were called first to get our food, we got all the good stuff and I guess the guys piled on the stuff for us because when we went back to the table to eat it, we all didn't know how to close the burrito! LOL. We we're all struggling to eat it but it was fun. And our table played a lot of games that we usually played in elementary school and we were the table that was laughing the most. A lot of people were jealous that they couldn't join but I thought it was funny how our side of the table was filled with doodles and the other half was plain white. LOL. After FHE, Derek was going to drive me home but we decided to hang out with the other churchmates at Dairy Queen. We saw Courtney, Sam, Sam's girlfriend (not sure what her name is), Immanuel, Daniel and Christian. It was fun... A little boring but fun. Haha. Then I went home and crashed into my bed at 12am.

Today: So today, I wake up and do my usual routine and I spoke to my mom on the phone for a little bit and I texted my second father (Mr. Reed; my best friend/roommate's father) and told him that I was leaving for BMT on June 19th, and he texted me back saying that he was so happy, excited and proud of me and he gave me some advice as well. When I got off the phone with my mom, I realized I got a text from Blue Fox! He said, "What you doing?" and I texted an hour after because I didn't even know he texted me. And then my friend Tracface called me and told me that she saw on the Penny Saver (a booklet you receive in the mail for free about places you can save money and sometimes they have job offers) and I saw that there's a place hiring people who knows how to operate a forklift and it says that even if you don't know how, you can be trained and it is allowing everyone to go! SO, I went and I realized that there was a fee of $35. So for me to train for the forklift, I need $35 but the manager is suggesting that I should do two machines to insure that I get the job and that's $70 but he is giving it to me for $35. AND THEY PAY $10~$15 her hour! So I went to apply and he said that I can come tomorrow at 10am and pay the fee and start the training! So I'm excited. But as I was on my way to apply, I texted Blue Fox and told him that I was on my way to a job thingy and asked what he was doing but he didn't reply (yet). I texted him on Saturday, asking if he has any plans and it took him forever to reply, but when I went to a business meeting, he finally replied saying he was partying with his team (and I don't think it's the partying we all think it is because Blue Fox doesn't even drink)

Turtle, indeed my life is a little more cheerful and a lot of opportunities came up and things are going swell ever since I was baptized as a Mormon. A lot of people were telling me not to do it because Mormon's are "stupid", "dumb", "weird" and "creepy" and I do admit that some Mormon's are weird but there are some good ones out there and the ones that I spent most of my time with are great people and I've met and became friends with a bunch of Elders who I know are going to be my friends forever. Ever since I became a Mormon, my life became so much better and I enjoy what I do. And I'm praying more often and I believe that God is answering my sincere wishes in my heart and is blessing me as long as I keep myself honest and sincere. And I can say this as a testimony.

Cheery,
Otter

LifeStream Blood Donation

Thanks to Bishop Davis (who's also the Vice Principal) for inviting me to North High School to give some blood to save lives. Since I love doing these types of things, I decided to go ahead and do it! And guess what? I met a very cute Asian "donation specialist". :)

Even though everyone at the high school is obviously still in their teens, it was weird to be in the crowd. However, Shota (the Japanese visitor that's staying with the Davis') and I were there so it wasn't as awkward because we're both in our 20's.

It was my turn to go and donate some blood but apparently, four of the specialist couldn't find my vein so they were wondering if I ate enough, drank enough or have enough sugar in my blood but of course, this isn't my first time donating blood so I already know what to do. But they still couldn't find my vein. :( but the good turn up about it was that the cute Asian, Andrew Taroreh (yes, I remembered his name), spent a lot of time on me. Touching my arm here and there, making small talk and making sure I wasn't hurt or feeling any discomfort. The bad thing about it is that I was constantly poked because no one could find my little veins that were hidden deep in my skin. Haha. Oh well. However, I don't know why they struggled so much when the people at MEPS did a much better job in finding my vein and drawing out blood. Hmm.

But thankfully, I did my part in saving someone's life.

Oh, and today seems to be the day where I'm constantly reminded of Blue Fox. And the big reason was because of the whole blood drive event... Because one of my plans was that we would donate blood together as a couple since we both like saving lives... I wanted us to go and donate our blood as a couple. Sigh.

A Good Samaritan,
Otter

Otter Saves Lives Everyday.

Yesterday was probably one of the best days that has ever happened to me since Blue Fox. Here’s why:

First, I booked my first choice in the USAF. YES!

Second, as I was on my way to the post office to send some packages, some guy was on his BMX bike and I don’t know if he was trying to pass me but he rode off the sidewalk and onto the road while doing this jump of some sort and instead, he skid and fell on the road five feet away from me. I was shocked but he was hurt…

Otter: Ohmygod, are you okay?!
Guy: Yeah, I’m fine… (gets up)
Otter: Are you sure? Was I in your way?
Guy: Oh, no no. I was just being stupid…
Otter: Are you hurt?
Guy: Um, a little. It’s not too bad. (picks up bike and limps)
Otter: Are you bleeding?
Guy: (checks) Eh, a little…
Otter: Oh no~ Wait. I have a bandaid and alcohol. (takes out mini First Aid from my bag)
Guy: Wow, you’re prepared.
Otter: Haha, mhm~ (rubs off the blood with wetones, applies rubbing alcohol and puts a bandaid)
Guy: Thanks
Otter: No problem!
Curtis: My name’s Curtis.
Otter: I’m Otter.
Us: (shakes hands)
Curtis: Thanks again for the bandaid~
Otter: You’re welcome~
Curtis: Well… See ya’ (rides off his bike and smiles)
Otter: See ya’ (smiles)

Yes, I have a mini First Aid kit in my bag. Some people think (and always thought) I was weird for having it in my bag but you never know what’s going to happen! But PB called me a “weirdo” because I touch random people. But look, another reason why I should have it in my bag! I saved a super cute guy from an infection! ♡

Lastly, my favorite and lucky number is “8” so a lot of good things happen to me when an “8” appears or I have a connection with those of “8”s and since it was on March 14… 3 + 1 + 4 = 8! Awesome!

That’s all I wanted to share.

I Guess It's Time...

I just back from PT about two hours ago and I finally have time to go online.

Again, PT was good but I was the only girl. Sigh. But only three boys showed up so it wasn't as bad as the last time but it was good.

However, before we all had to start our PT, Ssgt. Fears would do announcements and give us updates about whatever she has in her head and today... She announced who got booked!

AND GUESS WHAT?! I BOOKED MY FIRST CHOICE! I BOOKED A DAMN JOB! HOORAH!

I am going to be the newest member of the United States Air Force aircraft armament systems specialist! HELL YEAH! I'LL BE WORKING ON THOSE PLANES, JETS AND WHATNOT!

And guess what else? I LEAVE ON JUNE 19TH!

AND, I have a possible home-base job!

Dude. Life's turning up...

I just wish I had the courage to pick up my phone, dial Blue Fox's number and tell him.

Feelin' good,

Otter

PS: Now I have to eat my egg salad sandwich and head to the post office!

Random Blue Fox.

Text Messaging: 03/09/12; 11:18pm

Blue Fox: You awake?
Otter: Yup. But I'm about to take a shower. Why are you awake?
Blue Fox: I had a meeting. Now I gotta sleep.
Otter: Really? How was the meeting?
Blue Fox: It was awesome.
Otter: What did you guys discuss about?
Blue Fox: I'll tell you tomorrow
Otter: Mmk. Well, I'm going to take a shower now. You should sleep, you probably had a long day today. Goodnight.
Blue Fox: Gnite

... Out of the blue but it made me happier. I miss this.

Sigh,
Otter

PS: He didn't tell me the next day. Lol.