Life's Changing. HOLY CRAP.

I'm not on this as much as I want to be. I'm sorry.

If some of you haven't noticed, I'm leaving in three weeks and four days (25 days) and when I talk to my friends about it, some of them mention that I don't seem excited to leave like the others and honestly, I'm not. I'm not excited because I left all my excitement back in June - When I was ORIGINALLY suppose to leave - and so right now, I'm left being anxious and nervous.

I'm slightly jealous over some people that I was suppose to leave with have their first duty stations while I'm still here, just barely leaving for BMT... I'm not discouraged at all though, I'm happy for them and I know everyone has different paths in life... I suppose mine was postponed and there is possibly a reason why I'm still here.

A New Step For Otter

Sigh. After freaking out last night... I took what Blue Fox said and he's right. I have to think for myself. All this time, I've been thinking of others, what others think, what others want me to do and I forgot all the things that I wanted to do and what I need to do for myself. I've been sheltered so much by my mother and I thank her for that but I grew up, scared of taking chances when I know I should. It hurt me that my mother would pity-talk me saying things like, "You'd take this job in Los Angeles if you still care about your mother and your dogs." if I had the chance, I'd be in the Philippines, taking care of my mother and my dogs every single day but who'll support them? No one. Not even my father will. I have to help... But I just hate people telling me to do this because they all count on me. I have my mother, my dogs, and five other people (that I have to pay back) on my back and it's seriously weighing me down but I have to do what I have to do; think for myself for once. Even if I come off as selfish and self-centered.

So, I gathered up the courage and took a chance...

I bought a ticket to Maryland, Monday - Sept. 19th, and I arrive at Baltimore-Washington International at 6:44PM-ish. OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

I'm doing it! I jumped... I took a chance. I'm taking this for myself and giving this whole new "taking chances" thing a try. It's a little scary because I have doubts like what if Blue Fox doesn't actually come and pick me up. LOL. (I think he will. I don't know. He says he's excited. I don't know. Sigh.)

But, I do have a back-up plan though. If this doesn't work out and it starts to feel uneasy, I'll head back... Somewhere.

Like what my friend Trace-face says, "It'll be an adventure. Everyone should do something out of the norm and a little wild."

And guess who got her period today after all that stressing out? OTTER! Sigh.

Am I Wrong?,
Otter