Love Scandal.

This is how I'm going to start off... With a heart burn.

2~3 More Days.

Guess what? I have two more days until the hotel and three more days until I fly to Lackland AFB, San Antonio, Texas.

lksdjfkliowejaklsdf,mv,.xcngaroisdklfjsd!!!!!!! D;

Life's Changing. HOLY CRAP.

I'm not on this as much as I want to be. I'm sorry.

If some of you haven't noticed, I'm leaving in three weeks and four days (25 days) and when I talk to my friends about it, some of them mention that I don't seem excited to leave like the others and honestly, I'm not. I'm not excited because I left all my excitement back in June - When I was ORIGINALLY suppose to leave - and so right now, I'm left being anxious and nervous.

I'm slightly jealous over some people that I was suppose to leave with have their first duty stations while I'm still here, just barely leaving for BMT... I'm not discouraged at all though, I'm happy for them and I know everyone has different paths in life... I suppose mine was postponed and there is possibly a reason why I'm still here.

Robert Ah Sue = Beautiful Human Being.

Robert Ah Sue has been the only guy in my church that I'd totally go for, not only is he my type but he's SUPER gorgeous and he's just... UMPF. I always thought if I were to marry a Mormon, it'd be Indigo (and that still stands) BUT, ever since I met Rob, he'd be one of the Mormon's I'd totally marry in a heartbeat.

He's 23, graduated from Southern Utah University with a degree of kinesiology this year and moved back to Riverside with his family and he works at a UFC gym in Corona, CA. (a town near by).

The story that I know about him is how he lost his father. Every year in Riverside, we have a Tinman triathlon. His father does it every year and he completes the whole running-biking-swimming portions of the triathlon. A year or two ago, his father had a sudden heart attack during the swimming portion of the triathlon and didn't make it. Now, every year, all the sons do the triathlon together in memory of their father. And just two months ago, one of the brothers, Greg, left for his mission to Australia! Haha.

Sadly, he's totally out of my league. He's just too beautiful for me. I mean, we talk and he greets me in the hallways during church and such but... I actually don't have a chance with him.

But on the off chance if we did get together and we had children, they'd be smart AND beautiful. :D

NOW, FOR SOME EYE-CANDY!

(Far right; The eldest brother)

(MMMMMMMMMMMMMM...)


(Far right; during his football years in college)

(Far left during his football years)

(Oooooh yeeeeaaaaahhhhh...)

Four More Weeks.

Four more weeks until I leave for the United States Air Force BMT (Basic Military Training).

So many emotions are interacting all at once and I don't know how to deal. But I'm sorry that I haven't been posting as much as I want to. I'll try and get it all out there before I leave though.

Just thinking about it makes me nervous and when I'm nervous, I got to go poop... Real bad. Sigh.

But I'll surely miss you, Turtle. I know I'm not leaving YET but I just want to put that out there so you know right now. :)

Soon-to-be-trainee,
Otter

Goodbye, My Baby Selena :(

So about a month ago, Joe has been having a hard time with Selena because well, it's not his dog, it's his three other roommates but (not) surprisingly, they're NOT feeding her. Three weeks ago, NONE of them fed her for four days (insert me cursing like a mother bear) and a week before that, the apartment manager saw they had a dog and it's not allowed on the apartment grounds but they still wanted to keep her but of course, no one's taking care of her. Joe has work AND school and the three other guys are going to start football season so they are going to be gone ALL day so who's going to take care of her? It'll be really hard and it broke my heart that she hasn't eaten in four days. Yeah, yeah, people keep telling me "she's just a dog" ... STOP RIGHT THERE, that's where I draw the line and punch you in the face. She may be "just a dog" but she's an innocent dog that did NO harm to anyone, doesn't bark and is trained. The only thing that I hate about Selena living in that tiny shitty apartment is that they beat her A LOT because she chews stuff up and whatnot. UM, NEWSFLASH. SHE'S ONLY THREE TO FOUR MONTHS OLD (judging by her teeth since she still has her baby teeth) OF COURSE SHE'S GOING TO CHEW STUFF. SHE'S TEETHING. -_- Also, you'd have to be stupid to let your stuff lie on the floor like your headphones, anything with wires, anything that looks interesting... Everything looks interesting to a puppy. So you have to puppy proof your home just like how you'd baby proof your home for toddlers.

But we ended up going to the store and buying her food (since I almost did it myself since those guys wouldn't do it for her) and even though she's not my responsibility, I cannot stand a starving dog. I JUST CAN'T. That's one thing Joe was "afraid" of is that I'd spoil her. IT'S NOT SPOILING. It's called "giving her attention" and playing with her. She listened to me, she followed me and she understood what I wanted her to do. I played with her, I napped several times with her and I just gave her SO much love which she NEEDED. She needs guidance because she's just a puppy! But Joe was serious about giving her away... Since they can't have her because it's against the apartment rules and they were already given a three-day notice. The three day notice was either the dog leaves or everyone moves out.

Three weeks ago (I think), Joe saw his usual customers that come by his work (a gas station) and they happened to own a animal shelter (more like an animal ranch for rescues) and they were interested and saw pictures and actually got to see her so a few days after they were notified about Selena and met her, they decided to take her in.

A week after that, she got adopted by the Riverside Police Station! Soooooo she's going to be a guard dog and a rescue dog! I'm bittersweet about it because I was excited to go to Joe's house now because of her but with her gone, I'm sad but I'm happy that she's being adopted by the police station and is being trained and loved by so many people and is going to do some serious work for the good. So I'm happy for her but I do miss her a lot. :(

I'm Trying To Update...

I'm sorry I haven't been able to update on here for a while. Some days, I'm really busy and then there are days where I'm in my room, in my bed, hibernating. So, I apologize. And I'm going to update little by little so it's going to be all over the place... I was originally going to update with EVERYTHING put out there but I realized that will never happen because it's too much. So I'll spread it out. Haha.

Blank. Totally blank.

Bullshit, I swear.

North, Frisbee, Knee.

I helped the Bishop on some work at North High School (since he’s a vice principal) we rounded up all the students who are taking summer school and I was in charge of grouping them into subjects and sending them to the counselor’s office. I’m surprised at how many students are taking summer classes (appox. 1600 students) and I was getting irritated at how much they lack discipline, how they don’t listen and how they’re just so goddamn slow! Sigh. But after having them fix their schedules (because they were too stupid to fix it before summer school started), I went into VP Davis’ office and I managed and filed the “drop outs” and I went through 20 pages of drop out students. WHO DROPS OUT OF SUMMER SCHOOL?

So, I worked/helped out for eight straight hours and cut Bishop’s work by two~three hours. I had fun doing it, actually. I also reorganized his office because I’m nice and OCD.

And then I went to Ultimate Frisbee.

But I didn't run as much as I wanted to or as fast as I wanted to because I've been having this discomfort in my right knee. So I didn't want to make it worse.

For two almost three weeks now, I've been feeling this discomfort in my right knee... When I squat all the way or do what's called a "duck squat" and I pivot to my right knee, putting my weight on my right knee, there's this discomfort right in the middle of my knee and behind my hamstring. And I don't have it on my left knee... Just my right. But if I keep my right knee bent, the discomfort's gone but if I were to stand up, I'll feel it and have to walk it out to relieve it. I don't know what's the problem and it's bothering me because I want to fix it. I've never had this before! Some of my friends tell me it's because I'm either overusing it, or depending on my right side too much or I'm not using it as much as I should and then overdo it when I work out or I'm not stretching enough in the area.

Sigh.

Mrrrrrr,
Otter

I Regret Nothing.

I wonder if what I did today was a good thing.

I went to the UCR's Institute to meet up with the Elders to have our lesson. After our hour lesson, we departed and I walked to the University Village to stop by 7/11 because I wanted a drink and some beef jerky. I then went out to sit on the chairs outside 7/11 to call Mrs. Davis regarding if I can finally move into her place for the time being because I'm dropping off Emily at the airport tomorrow and she's going to be gone for three months and I'm definitely not staying at the apartment with just her boyfriend.

So, I called Mrs. Davis but she didn't answer so I had to leave a message, as I was waiting for the voicemail message to finish so I can leave one, this young black kid comes up to me...

"Brother Zoned"

So at church, I'm apart of a trio: Joe, Glenn and I.

We're mostly together most of the time and when we are, it's awesome. We watch movies together, we eat together and we're always together so it's almost like we're inseparable.

But lately, I've been sensing Glenn is thinking different and I should have trusted my gut because just a couple nights ago, when he was dropping me home, he was going to ask me something... I knew in my gut what it was going to be.

Benji Schwimmer. SYTYCD Winner. Mormon.

(061212)

I'm not sure who here watches "So You Think You Can Dance" tv show but there's a dancer named Benji Schwimmer. He's a good dancer, he's also a member of my church and he was my friend Glenn's old companion during their mission... On Tuesday, we all get the news that he announced that he was gay. He finally came out after struggling to come to terms that he was gay and he struggled to accept it because he's been a devoted member to our church but ever since he finally accepted it, he left our church and is now "ex-communicated" (that means that he's no longer affiliated with our church)

The way we found out was when Joe, Glenn and I were at Ontario Mills (a mall) eating Panda Express and then we see Glenn on his iPhone, scrolling around and then his expression changed from content to worried and disappointed (?) and then he told us if we knew Benji and Joe knew of him but knew his sister and I know of him because he was on TV but I knew he's from Redlands. So then Glenn told us about it and how they were companions for about six months during their mission (which is a long time) and then told us that Benji came out and announced that he was gay, leaving the church and is now doing whatever. Joe and I were a little surprised that he decided to leave and we thought it was a little harsh.

Later after we ate, Glenn couldn't call him because Benji lost his phone so he just sent him a private message on Twitter. But to know that he left the church and is now ex-communicated left a saddened feeling... I can't imagine leaving my church, I can't imagine the church ex-communicating with me or anything like that... I don't even want to think of that feeling but for Benji to go through that was really sad.

I don't know why he left the church, I mean, is it just because he's gay? I know some Mormon's are hella sketchy with that issue but there are some that understand (Andi and I). A lot of Mormon's think that Andi and I are not Mormons because we support gay rights, gay marriages and have gay friends and best friends but it doesn't make you any less of a devoted disciple of God if you follow His word but, I don't know. I just heard the news and I just thought of telling you guys... I just wish that the situation was so harsh. :(

08/09 USAF BMT. Sigh.

I called my recruiter yesterday morning to talk to her about the situation and she told me that there wasn't anything she can do because no one wanted to swap jobs with me and there were no spots for me for the jobs that I could get because they were all filled. I asked if there was a spot for July and she told me that July is filled and has been filled by people from two~three months ago so she believes that I might get something for August, latest is September.

Is It Bad If I Want You?

WTF AM I DOING YOU GUYS?!

I don't know if I'm digging myself an even bigger hole or what...

I honestly like DG... A LOT. I don't even know why! But I like him a lot and it makes me a little upset because I know I can't have him.

Sigh, Blue Fox.

Me: You forgot my birthday. :(
Blue Fox: Happy belated birthday
Me: Did you forget? Haha.
Blue Fox: I spent time with my family, I apologize.
Me: Yeah, my birthday was on a Sunday but you could have texted. But it's mmk, I'll forgive you.
Blue Fox: How are you? I wish I could have seen you in LA. But I couldn't. And you couldn't.

You knew that I'd take the bus, train, more buses, spent the night with you, take the bus to the train and go back home in a heartbeat. You know I would. You know I would do anything for you.

DG, please.

"I feel like moving in like, a month. I feel like I don't belong here in California."

DG... Please don't move to Utah so soon... :(

Sigh. If you do. Can I come?

Poo,
Otter

OMFG, UPDATES. FINALLY.

So here's some updates that I wasn't able to post up in time because there's just so much going on:

Bleh, Sorry Friends!

Sorry, I've been MIA a little bit... I've been a little slow to post up blogs on this page.

To be honest, I haven't been feeling like myself. I've been emotional lately.

I know that I'm leaving soon so I'm not motivated to do anything like working out or planning awesome events because I'm leaving soon, you know? I just don't want to "party" because it will remind me of "hey, you have to party hard because you're leaving soon!" and it makes me sad. Because I've made so many friendships with so many people and I love the people I go to Institute with and to know that I'm leaving them in four weeks makes me really sad. :(

WTF Blue Fox Part. II

 I'm going to go on a rant right now, you don't have to read it but... I just had to...

WTF Blue Fox, Just Stop It!

You tell me the only time to see you is today and I have to be at Fullerton, CA  by 7PM? For what? A FUCKING EVENT? I don't want to go to one of your company's seminars! I want to see YOU! How hard is that? Yes, I don't have a car. No, I'm not going to spend $200 on taxi. I'll take a train but you have to meet me half way!

Blue Fox: Today is the only day for the event.
Otter: What are you doing for the other days you're going to be here?
Blue Fox: I'll tell you when you come here tonight.
Otter: Poo. Just tell me.
Blue Fox: You have to earn it. Depending, you might see me all week but that all depends how much effort you put into coming today.

It bugs the shit out of me every time you do this! Why do I have to do all the proving? Why?! Am I or have I made it so fucking hard to make you see that I love you?! I moved out of Seattle for you. Yeah, I wanted to live in Maryland and you were a big push but look at what happened! I was even willing to move back for you during the spring! But look what happened.

Why do I have to the proving?! Isn't it already obvious that I want to be with you? Isn't it already obvious that I love you?! Isn't it already obvious that I'm willing to do everything I can for you?! WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO FUCKING DO TO MAKE YOU REALIZE THIS?!

Why can't you just tell me that you love me? Why can't you just be sweet like before? Why can't you just tell me that you miss me?! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME THE SHIT I ALREADY KNOW?! Why make me go through all of this?!

... ,
Otter