Otter and 2AM M&G II

April 29th:
I'm pissed! So pissed, I look like the red bull on the beverage! All thanks to my mother! Why? Here, let me guide you through the most disappointing, upsetting and pissing off day I had ever had in my life so far!

I told my mother the night before that my plan is: I wake up at 8:30am, walk the dogs and leave the house by 10am so we can give the puppies a bath, then drop me off at McKinley Hill before noon so I can get a ticket stub for the meet and greet. And this is how the conversation went:

Otter: *laying out my plan*
Mother: Why are you leaving so early? It starts at 8!
Otter: Wtf? It's not at 8, it's at 5!
Mother: Then leave at 2.
Otter: I need a ticket stub!
Mother: There's not a lot of people who'll go... Trust me.
Otter: You don't understand the situation. It's 2AM! There will be a lot of people and I heard that they'll line up real early...
Mother: Well, I don't know why you're rushing this. It's at 8!
Otter: IT'S. NOT. AT. 8! IT'S AT 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mother: Why are you yelling? We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Otter: It's at 5, that's it. I'm leaving by noon.
Mother: Whatever, okay.

During this time, my mother's on Facebook, chatting up with her poker friends and her new cyber Indian boyfriend who's half her age. That's why I was irritated because when she's online and talking to her online boyfriend, she totally shuts me out and doesn't listen. I was worried that I was going to miss my chance to attend the meet and greet.

The morning of the 29th, I was suppose to wake up at 8:30am and I set my alarm for 8:15am but for some reason, my phone didn't ring. So I ended up waking up at 9:50am, by 10:15am I walked both my dogs, then my mother woke up and she told me that the groomer texted her saying that he can groom the puppies today. So, we all get into the car to pick them up at Market Market and it's already 12-ish and of course, since it's Friday, there was some random traffic... I was getting worried again that I won't make it. When we reached Market Market to pick up the groomers, it was already 2pm, and I was scared that I was going to miss the whole thing. I told my mom to make a different to turn drop me off at McKinley Hill and I'll change there, get my ticket and everything. By the time my mother dropped me off, I ran to the stand and before I could even catch my breath and say a word, the lady at the stand said,

"I'm sorry. We don't have tickets anymore. It's been sold out since 11am. But we have CD's if you life, posters, CD's with DVD's but we're all sold out of tickets."

My heart dropped down to my stomach, my eyes widened, my head felt so heavy and I was just in total shock... I knew someone who already had a ticket because her friend bought it for her this morning and I know someone who managed to get a ticket. I called my mother and I told her what happened.

Otter: THERE'S NO MORE TICKETS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! You're always chatting with your friends and you never listen to what I have to say when it's something that I want!
Mother: Ohmygod... Honestly, I honestly thought it was at 8.
Otter: I told you since the moment I found out that it was at 5 and I even told you three days ahead, two days ahead and een told you last night that it was at 5! 5! 5! 5! 5!
Mother: I'm sorry I thought...
Otter: You thought! You always "thought"! But you never listen. All you want to do is talk to your poker friends.
Mother: I'll see if Rudy's company has tickets...
Otter: See, there you go again! THE TICKETS COME WITH CD PURCHASES! *hangs up phone*

I go to the venue where 2AM will be performing and I watch all the people with tickets line up with their gifts, dolls, board signs and other shenanigans. My mother calls me hardcore but these tweens have been lined up since 6am (a friend told me), with gifts for not just one member but gifts for every single member in 2AM! See, I'm not that hardcore. As much as I would love to get them a gift or write them a card or letter... I know that it'll end up being tossed to the side and because there are thousands and even millions of people who are willing to do the same. I know the gifts will be given to charity and not into their homes, I know that my letters will be tossed into the trash or kept in a box where they'll never see it again. I just want to meet them, hug them and take pictures with them, have them sign my CD but there was one thing that I had planned out: How  I feel about them. Not that freaky-fan type feelings... But feelings that i've always wanted to express for each member. I wanted to tell Jo-Kwon how much he makes me smile with his cheap "kkab-ssanty" dances when I'm feeling down even though JYP says to not do it because it gives him a bad image. I wanted to tell Jin-Woon that he's my ideal type, despite the fact that he's a year younger than I am, and I wanted to tell him to relax more when he's on variety shows, I wanted to tell him not to be too shy and stand out a little more. I wanted to tell Changmin to not work out so hard and to eat more because he deserves it. I wanted to tell him how I'm always inspired at how hard he words for what he does and also to tell him how cute he is when he's shy and how funny he is when he tries to be funny, even though it's not that funny. Lastly, I wanted to tell Seulong that he improved so much in his singing and how I enjoyed him in his new path in acting because he's getting so good at it. (to be honest, Seulong was my least favorite member but now, he's ranking up)... I also wanted to wish all of them good health and hope to see more of them in the future.

But my mother ruined it all for me.

While looking at all those girls, lined up and waiting for 2AM... I was trying to hold back my tears because of how upset I was. That's the one thing I hate about myself. I hold in everything that makes me frustrated, angry and even sad and I have no way in releasing it so all I can do is cry or tear through the frustration.

An hour before it started, my mother came to pick me up. Once I got into the car, she just kept pushing my buttons, telling me that she honestly didn't know that it was at 5 when I was constantly telling her night after night that it was at 5 but she was still not listening to me even though I tried to leave earlier... All she did was stall. I was trying so hard to suppress my feelings but she just kept going on and on and... Yes. I ended up suddenly exploding.

Otter: I TOLD YO UIT WAS AT 5, I TRIED LEAVING EARLY BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS TAKING YOUR TIME. LAST NIGHT, I TOLD YOU IT'S AT 5, YOU KEPT SAYING 8 AND I WOULD TELL YOU IT'S AT 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, BUT YOU'RE STILL CHATTING WITH PEOPLE, IGNORING ME AND PRETENDING THAT YOU'RE LISTENING WHEN I KNOW YOU'RE NOT. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I EVER GO OUT, I DON'T HAVE OUT WITH FRIENDS, I DON'T GO OUT FOR ANYTHING, I DON'T GO OUT AND EAT, AND I STAY HOME, WORK OUT AND DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP YOU AROUND THE HOUSE AND GIVE YOU THE COMPUTER FROM 8AM~4AM AND YOU STILL ABOUT ME? THIS IS WHAT I LIKE AND THIS IS THE ONLY CHANCE THAT I GET AND YOU STILL CAN'T GIVE THAT TO ME!
Mother: I HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS IT AT 8, WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW?! I SAID I WAS SORRY SO QUIT IT!
Otter: No. It's your fault. For two days, you can't give this to me.
Mother: Fine, why didn't you drive?
Otter: I would. Even if I have to be alone, I would have. I'll drive alone!

Of course, I can't take the care alone. There are three people in the house who use this car: Mother, father and I. If I took the car for myself, how will my mother get groceries that day? Use the taxi? That's not her. My father also needs the car for whatever he does outside the house so I can't just take it for myself... I'm not that selfish. I'm just too considerate and kind enough to not do such a thing.

It just pisses me off that whenever I do something Korean-related, my mother hates it. Yes, I like it. So what? I know she has a problem with it. She has a problem with everything I do. Food, people, clothes, culture, music, movies, dramas... She hates that I like it so much, she hates it all! She tells me that she hates it and I let her say it all, I don't fight it but she really can't let it go. Do I get angry when she gets the computer the whole day and sometimes I can't eve get on when I want? No. Do I go out, drinking with friends, clubbing, smoking and getting pregnant, leaving the house at night, with friends, meeting boys and doing things that aren't allowed? Do I sneak out of the house? No. I don't do any of those things. I just want to go to concerts to who I want to see and if that's Korean-related, it's only fair. For all my life, I've never did anything that was against the rules, yet she can't give me this one thing.

From there, things just kept on getting worse. People on my nerves, my father's getting on my nerves and things aren't getting any better. So it was like a "FML" moment.

April 30th:
I planned on waking up at 9:30am and be able to buy a ticket for the one-night grand concert before 10am, but when I set my alarm, my phone didn't go off so I ended up waking up really late. I got pissed and I was, again, afraid that things would go wrong again. But I rushed everything and was able to go downstairs to get a ticket.

I went to the stand and tried getting a VIP ticket but it was all sold out by 8am. Then I realized and was told that the VIP tickets were reserved weeks ahead from the people who mostly work at Megaworld or the sponsors of the show. That pissed me off a little more, kind of unfair. So I got stuck with just entry tickets.

I waited until we can line up, my mother came by to see me and I swear, I think she's bad luck because when we were talking, people were lining up and I didn't see it. Before she left, I saw a line on the bridge and I laughed that it would have been funny if the bridge broke and all the people fell in the pond. But what I didn't realize was that that was the line for the entrance! "Fuck.", I said. So I looked around and I did something that was a little bad... LOL. I cut. Yes. I cut in line! As quiet and secretive like a ninja I can be for concerts, I was able to sneak in line at 30~35 people from the beginning of the line. No one saw, no one noticed and no guard said anything so I was on the clear side.

Even though I was alone, I was excited to see 2AM. I wanted to get a bar-side so I don't have to be in the middle between people but everyone who went in earlier got all good spots. Where I was standing wasn't too good, I was three rows behind the barricade and my view wasn't too good but I was close. It wasn't good because there were these two ghetto Filipino girls that were standing in front of me, with big ass signs and they were bothering me and the other Korean people I was standing next to. They were really pissing us off~

During the concert, I was really close, like 10 feet away? They were so m uch more good-looking and taller in person than what you would see on TV and they sound so much better in real life than CD or on TV. It was really amazing and judging on my videos, there are some parts where my view was blocked because of their big ass signs! I swear, I wanted to take their board signs and shove it down their throats! They were really getting on my nerves!

A lot of other girls behind me were pushing, shoving and just squeezing everyone! It was so hot, no wind, no air and everyone was stanky! It's like they didn't shower and was sweating all that they had left in their bodies. Some girls got kinky hair so it's like flying into people's faces and... Uhg. Shit just got gross!

Hanna, a friend of mine, has an extra signed CD... She plans to give it to me since she doesn't really need one. So, I'll have two: One signed, one not. Lol.

I had a lot of fun though, minus all the nasty girls... Next time, without my mother's help, I'll get there earlier.

I'll be extra-prepared next time. I think I'll have a small and simple fan-signs ready so I don't rush... I'll have one for every boy group, girl group, rapper, singer and rock group that I like and am willing to see. Lol. I'm starting to get ahead of myself... But, I am serious about getting extra-prepared though.

WHO'S NEXT? 2PM! (I hope!)

"FML"-happy-mad-giddy-tired,
Otter