Seattle Bound: 12 Days

I have 12 days left here. No, not here on this blog. Or 13 days if you want to count the day/morning that I leave... Actually, I have mix emotions about this. As excited as I am, I'm also hesitant.

Every time I leave to do something new with my life, it turns into nothing.

Like when I (temporarily) moved to Canada, it was all because I wanted to start school and work and just live my life normally. Brother Otter is there, living, working and even graduated at the University of Windsor and I wanted that too so I tried to follow Brother Otter but it was actually harder than I thought so I ended up wasting time. I don't want to go back to California... I like California, don't get me wrong. But it's just... Does does it make me a person who can't prioritize and selfish? For wanting to start over? Star anew? Since my parents ruined high school and ended up ruining college too... Does it make me such a horrible person to want to go where I want to go? To dorm like normal kids? Work while I go to school? Meet new people? To live in an apartment with a roommate like normal people? Sigh.

Since my father was selfish to sacrifice all that I've done in middle school to get into a good high school (Vista Murrieta High) and all the other things that I've achieved that he didn't care about and I was suppose to go back to Singapore American School (SAS) which would have been the perfect high school in Asia to go to but when I offered that idea (because he was still active in the US Navy) and he could have us stationed there... He decided to be on his own and even eschew my ideas for my future. He told me a lot of bull manure and this and that... GAH, thanks.

So, I ended up doing college in the Philippines and even though it was international, US and Canada didn't accept me even though I had more than enough credits, high school diploma, American citizen, first/native language: English, education in US military schools and US public and private schools, parents in the US military and they still wanted me to take the SAT's, SAT 2, TOEFL, IELTS. Sure, I can understand SAT and SAT 2 but TOEFL? IELTS? (jaw drops) Are you sure you're looking at my application right?

After three years of wasting my time here, he finally tells me to move out to the States. You can imagine how pissed off I was... He's telling me to leave the house, get a job and work. He's NOW telling me that I have to leave and get gone. I love you too, father.

Now, every time I try to do something with my life, it never works out. Thus, expediting my entry to the US Air Force and even with that, they aren't really doing as well as I thought. I've been waiting and wanting this since 2008 and even though 2008 and 2009 were budget cuts and they weren't accepting any more people, I was still on the list. It wasn't until 2010, I got a call to enlist and it wasn't until late-2010 when I was granted the chance to sign up officially and wait for more process then come by early 2011, I did the test and medical tests, passed with flying colors and is listed under official USAF and on DEP. But what am I doing? Waiting. Waiting while all my other friends got a chance to enter training in 2009~2010 and now, I have a friend who's leaving on July 8th with the job of SERE and I have a friend leaving on September 2011 with mechanical engineer. This is the reason why I wanted a degree so it's easier to get in but... Bah, I'm too tired to fight and rant about something I've said a million times.

I emailed my recruiter three times about my plans and I even called and left a message because he wouldn't answer my call and wouldn't even email me back. Some recruiter... He's being a punk ass.

So, my plan b is to transfer to Bremerton, WA.

This rambling isn't going to change anything... I'm still leaving in 12 days.

Dazed and confused,
Otter