Otter is HELLA smitten.

Yes, yes you guys... You read right. Otter is smitten like craaaaaazy... It's actually scaring her.

So there's this guy that I've known since elementary/intermediate school~ Around fourth grade. And it wasn't until fifth grade when we were classmates that I had this huuuuuuuge crush on him for a good two years. He didn't know (or at least I think he didn't) and I doubt that he liked me either. We talked every now and then, he helped me with Mandarin during Mandarin class once but other than that, we were always on separate sides of the room and sticking our tongues out at each other. I felt lucky when I got to sit next to him but we'd still be sticking out our tongues at each other. That's the (lame) "relationship" we had.


We lost contact after sixth grade when I moved again, reconnected when we started high school, lost contact for a bit after graduation but reconnected again four years ago. It's unsteady but during high school we were really close... Which was weird because it seemed like we wouldn't ever be close, maybe just friends but not close friends. I was happy that we got closer... I never thought that'd happen. We were so close that we would protect each other. It was nice.

Two years ago, he had to do this Mormon mission and become a missionary. He had to stay in Australia and it was hard because I wasn't sure how to contact him but we all had to through snail mail. Yes, the old fashion way. I postponed a few months... So long that he switched places and had a new address. He even sent me a message asking and somewhat complaining that I'm not writing and wants me to write him because he misses me a lot. So, I did and sent it to the new address. He sent me a reply letter, with pictures and everything... It was really sweet. I took a while to reply because I was so busy trying to join the Air Force. I ended up missing his birthday~ So, I made it up to him. I sent him a birthday card, a Christmas card, a Valentines card and a three-page letter PLUS pictures. How awesome am I? (laughs) He took a while to reply but I got it in the mail just a couple days ago.

He recently was released and is finally done with his mission and I receive his reply letter two days after he arrived home. You know, I'm actually really proud of him for doing that... You sacrifice a lot, you give up a lot and you work really hard so... I'm proud that he did that for a whole two years.

We talk a lot with each other and when we were sending each other letters, there were a lot of "I miss you", "I'd protect you with my life", "I'd definitely choose you", "I've been waiting for your letters", "When are we going to see each other?", "Come to me", "Why weren't you there?" and just a lot of those things. Now that he's back home in Singapore, we're talking even more and the way we talk, makes me... Like him. Sometimes, I don't know if it's even liking. The fact that I'm smitten really bad makes me think that this isn't real.

But he's such a great guy~ Girls are always hurting him when he genuinely likes them, he always seems to be pissed off by a lot of people and he seems to be quite lonely... I guess not a lot of people understand him. He's so considerate, sweet, thoughtful, he keeps his promises, he's athletic, he's a goof and a total nerd yet he's completely boyish. As what Turtle said, she loves boys that look great both in a suit and in casual clothes. And that's him, too! He looks extremely handsome and sharp in his suit (especially during Mormon missions) and yet, he looks so cool and rugged when he's wearing just a t-shirt, jeans and shoes.

UHG! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO HANDSOME AND PERFECT?!

Grandmother always said to never go out with someone who's handsome or good-looking because they're always trouble. But... But... BUT HE'S UBER HANDSOME! (cries and sobs)

I feel like we're so alike yet, we're different and there's something telling me that we have a possibility. (smirks) I love absolutely everything about him... I don't see why people would be such asses and bitches to him. This is where I feel like I can protect him, be truthful and sincere to him.

I love him strongly as a friend; always have and always will but as a girl who is always looking at him from the side... I really like him. I just don't know if... He thinks the same.

I try to learn my lesson after so many failures especially with guys and I thought I was doing well... But when he started to show me these... Feelings? That make me act twice. I try to not assume things so that I'd be way over my head with this and then get myself into trouble, get hurt, embarrassed and all that. I'm trying to stay away to not feel that... But why do I feel like I'm being compelled towards him?

OH NOOOOO, HIS POWERS CAME BACK!

Sigh. Am I really that pathetic? What's wrong with me?!

I don't want to ask where this is going because I'm sure he doesn't know either and I'm not about to drop hints like deer pellets but... I'm really curious on how this will go.

Will we make it?
Will we be together?
Are we even good together?
Is this some floozy fling?
Or is it genuine?

What am I going to do~? If ever you see me floating for no reason, whack me with a club and shake me back to reality before I lose myself.

Son-of-a-sheep! He just im'd me. *smitten and giggling* ... Uh-oh.