Smitten Otter II

I just read both letters that stretches my smile a mile away. I'm reading them for the nth time, shuffling through the pictures for the nth time and I have to tell you... I think I got it reeeeaaaal bad this time. No joke.

You know how bad I got it? It has gotten to the point where he's my cellphone wallpaper because I can't get enough of him. It's one of his rare smiling pictures. (laughs) And whenever someone signs on MSN and I hear that log-in-alarm, I immediately hope that he signed in but it ends up not being him. Ahhh~ I'm terrible.


While I'm pathetically waiting, I look like: ( ╯ 3 ╰ )
When I see him log in and IM's me first, I look like: ( ⌒ ▽⌒)
When his internet crashes on him, I look like: (-___-'')
When he tells me he (or I) have to sleep, I look like: (T___T)
When he says something nice, I look like: Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

I just want to hug him~~~~~~~~~~

He's been telling me and begging me to come to Singapore right now since he's only there for one month before heading to Taiwan for a month. Seriously, as much as I would love to go to Singapore, I don't have the money but I probably would if the travel agency would give me a damn promo. Singapore is my second home and I would love to go back, more so because (beep)'s there. We talked about the things we'd do in Singapore and he said that we could go to Universal Studios since it's new and he hasn't been there yet so since we both haven't, it'd be nice if we both went as our first time. (giggles) and he said, "Yeah, and we'll make a lot people uncomfortable with our PDA."

Here are the some things that really make me giggle too much for my own good:

Otter: Other people are wanting to kidnap me... But I want you to be the first and then don't let me go.
(Beep): Who is going to kidnap you?!?!?!?!!?!?! Not allowed!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Beep)'s message: Loook look now!!! I MISS YOU TOO MUCH TO BE PATIENT!
(Beep)'s message: I want you

(Beep): Then you're mine.
Otter: Yes, forever. You have to be the first to kidnap me and then hurt the others.
(Beep): Very possible.
Otter: Very, very?
(Beep): Get here and I'll show you

(Beep): That would be the start
Otter: And what would you say to make me stay?
(Beep): How much would you want to be happy?
Otter: A lot. However, will it be you who will make me happy?
(Beep): Depends on what you want to be happy. You want me there, I'll be there. You want someone to protect you from your pains, I can do that. I can kiss away your troubles, talk out your worries.
Otter: If you can do that, be around and be here then I want it. I want all that from you.

^ That was my personal favorite, in my opinion. (faintly floats)

It's these things he says that make me insanely giddy. I mean, wouldn't you be? Especially if it's you who likes the guy and without showing any affection... He shows it first. I don't know, I really don't know what to think. Is he just being that nice?

Ever since fifth grade, I've always wanted to be in a relationship with him...  Hold hands, go to class together and whatnot. Since we did have almost every class together in fifth grade. Everyone was getting into relationships at that time and if I had to be with someone then, it'd be him. From middle school through high school and now... I've always had this space or part in me where I'm more than happy to accept him in that way.

To be honest, I do want something to happen. I mean, isn't it obvious? However, I'm not asking for it right now, tomorrow, next week, next month, this year... But, I want it to happen eventually. I feel that we would be so good with each other and I feel like we can trust each other well enough... I think that it'll be better than the other relationships I've had where the guy would already have some issue with something when it hasn't even happened yet and it turns into a problem; they doubt the relationship with me when the event or "worry" hasn't even happened. I mean, isn't that my job? Worrying that the guy would be with someone else? No, it's the guy. Meaning that they don't trust me or our relationship and that bothers me. But with (beep), I feel like... It'll be different.

Like I said, he's such a great guy and I have no idea why there aren't girls lining up. Whatever, if there isn't... More for me, at least. He's handsome, amazing, goofy and perfect. I like guys who are tall with broad shoulders, athletic build, strong, rugged and boy-ish type yet they look soft, gentle, approachable, sweet... Also, who looks good in suits with ties one minute, t-shirt, jeans and sneakers the other. And I swear, that's him.

I know that I've said that I loved him strongly as a friend, and I do. I always will, I'll always be by his side~ But I sooooooo badly want to be with him. And if ever (yes, I'm getting ahead of myself right now) that we do end up together and having to break up... I'm still there for him and everything as if nothing happened and I'll still love him, want to protect him and all that. I just feel like I can be that little happiness for him... I've always thought that. I just hope that me expressing this wouldn't freak him out because I have no idea what he thinks and is probably not on the same page as I am... Sigh. What to do~

"But it still makes me feel so bad inside, you don't seem to realize I'm wishing that you'd say you want me more than anything."

Hmm, I guess he won't be signing on tonight. I hope he's finally catching up on sleep~

Smitten-over-her-head,
Otter