I Regret Nothing.

I wonder if what I did today was a good thing.

I went to the UCR's Institute to meet up with the Elders to have our lesson. After our hour lesson, we departed and I walked to the University Village to stop by 7/11 because I wanted a drink and some beef jerky. I then went out to sit on the chairs outside 7/11 to call Mrs. Davis regarding if I can finally move into her place for the time being because I'm dropping off Emily at the airport tomorrow and she's going to be gone for three months and I'm definitely not staying at the apartment with just her boyfriend.

So, I called Mrs. Davis but she didn't answer so I had to leave a message, as I was waiting for the voicemail message to finish so I can leave one, this young black kid comes up to me...



And this wasn't just a random black kid, I've seen him before. I've seen him beg for spare change from people, I've seen him roam around the area on his scooter and I've seen him sleep in all sorts of places. But he comes up to me and asks if he could use my cellphone but I was hesitant because I wasn't sure if he was just going to take it and run... But I dialed the number he wanted me to dial and I put it on speakerphone. He spoke to his brother, asked him to come pick him up (his brother lives in Colton, CA which is far from Riverside) but his brother said, "Um, I'm out doing something." and then hung up. When he hung up, this kid (James Moore) started to ball his eyes out and we then talked about his problems and what was going on and then he said, "I just want to go home and see my mom"

He looked thirsty and hungry so I asked if he ate and he said he hadn't. I went in 7/11 with him and I was going around looking at stuff but I wanted him to eat something else. So, I went up to the counter and asked the Indian cashier to break my $20 into one $10 and two $5's but then he saw the kid I was with and he said, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to break your money." so I asked, "Why not?" and he said, "Because you're just going to give it to that..." and James immediately said, "Dude, she's my friend! You're just saying that because I'm black!" I then said, "Is that your problem? That's none of your business. Plus, I'm going to use it to buy him food. Do your job and break my money and go on with your work." He then broke my money and we left.

I brought James to Carl's Jr and while we were walking there, we talked about his problems and what has been going on. I then asked him where he goes to school and he said that he goes to "North High School" and I was familiar with the school and I asked who his principal and vice principal are, he said their names and I knew already because my Bishop is the vice principal of North High School.

We arrived at Carl's JR and I bought him a combo meal and as we were heading out, I handed him $11 for the train to go to his mom's house and I told him this, "Don't use my money recklessly, don't do something stupid and get yourself in trouble, I don't want to see you sleeping on the streets anymore, I don't want to see you go hungry so you need to take this and get your ass on a bus and get on the train to your mom's place. I don't want you doing stupid stuff... Also, if ever you come back here when school starts, I advice you to go and talk to your vice principal Davis. I know you don't feel comfortable about it and that's okay, but I just want you to know that he's my Bishop at my church and if you need help, ask him. He'll find a way for you. You don't have to though but I want you to know that the option is there if ever you come back. But for now, go ahead and eat and then get your ass to your mom's house, okay?" and he promised and said "okay" and then I told him to take care and he said "You too".

And then I gave him a hug and left.

Honestly, I usually don't help homeless people because there's always room for deception and deceit but I've seen James sit in front of so many fast food chains begging for spare change, I've seen him roam around on his scooter all around the place, I've been seeing him wear the same clothes for so long and as long as I can remember and I've seen him sleep in places that no 14-year-old should be sleeping in.

Ryan tells me, "What you did was the greatest thing. Hell, I would have done the same thing because I know what it's like, I've been there too. You did good in helping this kid out because it seems like his family doesn't give a fuck about him and he's fucking starving. What you did was help this kid out to help him go to his mother's house. What he does with the money is now his problem, is he going to spend it mindlessly? I don't know hun but you did what you could to get him there and it's his problem if he uses it properly or not. But what you did is great and you shouldn't feel bad for it. Your big heart helped him out and you did what humble people do."

I know a lot of people are going to think I'm stupid for doing this but there's a part of me that doesn't regret any of it.