Avoiding Their Stares.

So these last two weeks have been really hard on me (as I've said before) and I've been able to go out and walk around, to help ease my mind and maybe walking around will help me figure stuff out. You know, pump up the circulation in my body, put some oxygenated blood cells into my brain to help me think better. But it doesn't seem to do much...

I keep thinking of Blue Fox. This is how my thought process goes;

"What am I going to eat? Oh, look a dog! Aww, how cute! Hmm, still hungry... But how much do I have in my pocket? Ah, not enough. Oh look, a cute couple... They look happy. Blue Fox. I remember when Blue Fox and I were like that... (memories flood my head) UGH. ANYWAY. USAF. RIGHT. SCHOOL. YEAH. SCHOOL. Sigh. I'm hungry... Aw, look! An electric car. Aww, I remember when Blue Fox said I shouldn't get one. (memories of Blue Fox again)... NO. SO. MONEY. JOB. I NEED ONE."

It goes on and on... It doesn't stop. So as I walk around thinking in my little head, I look "intense".

You know how intense I look?

I look so intense that even strangers look at me and tell me to cheer up. Or some of them walk by and say things like "Cheer up, sweetheart!" or "It's a nice day today, smile!" and I smile and laugh and whatnot then automatically go back to my intense-thinking face. SOME of them actually come up to me and tell me, "Cheer up! Your face is too pretty to be looking upset."

It upsets me even more because I'm like, "Is it really that obvious that I'm upset? Maybe I should just walk around with no people just to avoid this."

Sigh,
Otter