Nothing's Stopping Me But...

I was talking to Blue Fox last night and he seemed really serious about me going over there. I mean, I'm not saying I didn't take it seriously because I did but like, he's really wanting me to go RIGHT NOW. THIS WEEK. Actually, tomorrow.

Of course that can't happen because I have an interview (today) and he told me to skip it, don't go and just forget about it and go there because it's useless to get a job here when I can be with him, find a job there and whatnot. And then he asked me, "What's stopping you?" - To be honest, there isn't anything stopping me. Yeah, I want to move out of here and be with people I actually want to be with and spend my time with and sure, I kind of don't have the money but apartment is paid by the school (so no need to pay), food is paid too and Blue Fox will cook for me, I have a place to stay and things like that... Driving is a problem because I don't have a US license but Blue Fox will say it's not a problem and... I don't know, there's nothing really stopping me but why am I... Still worrying?

Blue Fox said, "Why are you worrying so much? You shouldn't be worrying because you're going to be here with me, baby. It seems like you don't want to come here and that you're just finding a job to prolong it~" - Not true at all. Yes. I want a job because I need the money... I don't want to go over there without anything, you know? If it wasn't for this, I would be buying a one-way ticket to BWI-airport this week and leave without saying a word. But... I need money.

And then he said, "Make this your first priority. I want you here right now. The more problems you have there, just make me want you over here even more. You're always worrying and you're always in these problems that make me worry about you even more but when you're here, you won't have to because you have me. Here... I won't text you or call you until you text me saying that you've already bought the ticket. Until you do, we won't speak." and I asked, "Not even a text? A call? Or if I'm crying? Or if I get hurt?" and he said, "Not even. Because I'm that confident that nothing like that will happen. But if you intentionally hurt yourself, I might have to buy a ticket and come over there."

There really isn't anything stopping me but I also have to covince my mom to let me go even without money. I almost did but she still wants me to get a job first and she doesn't want me to leave knowing that I'll be jobless again for a few months.

Is it bad that I think like this?

Worried,
Otter